Here I am, Lord

It was 15 years ago this January that my Grammy passed away and I was honored with the gift of writing and delivering the eulogy at her funeral.  At the close of the services, when everyone was making their way home, the priest pulled me aside and asked if he could speak with me.  I’ve never forgotten his words; “I’ve heard a lot of eulogies”, he said, “but never anything like the one you wrote and delivered today. You have been given a gift, and you need to use it.”  I smiled politely, thanked him for his kind words and walked away, completely unaware that God had just whispered in my ear.

Fast forward fifteen years, and I am once again reminded of God’s plans for me while talking with a close friend on the phone.  This time it was more than a whisper, and came at a time when I was searching, although unknowingly, for confirmation on the idea of starting a blog.  I was relating to my friend the position I found myself in with my youngest in preschool for a few hours each day leaving me just enough free time to do a little something but not commit to anything too consuming.  I told her I was kicking around the idea of starting a blog and her response brought me right back to standing before that priest all those years ago.  “You’ve been give a gift with your writing and when God’s given you a gift, you have a responsibility to use it.”

That same week, I read a blog post from Tracie Miles, one of the authors for the blog .  In it, she talks about an opportunity lost to her due to fear and the reality that, “with procrastination, comes missed blessings.”

“OK, my patient and loving Father, I get it.”

I have a lot of reasons why not to start a blog.  The biggest question that looms over me is simply, “what do I have to share that people would care about reading?”  In searching for an answer, I am once again reminded about a truth in life that always seems to escape me, it’s not about me.  And it is within that truth that all my own fears hold no bearing on the task ahead.

One of my all time favorite hymns is, Here I am Lord.  Even as a child I remember feeling inspired by the words.  “Here I am Lord.  Is it I Lord?  I have heard you calling in the night.  I will go Lord, if you lead me.”  These words bring to mind the exciting fact that we were all created for a special purpose; a purpose unique to that of any other single person in this world.  The challenge is found in defining what that purpose is and in being open enough to be led along the path that will take you there.

These days, there is nothing unique about writing a blog.  Cyberspace is filled with them.  What I hope will be unique however, are the stories shared and the connections made.  In my opinion, two of the most powerful words in any language are, “I understand”. These two simple words are strong enough to bridge any gap, be it due to age, gender, religious practice, upbringing, past experience…the list goes on.  I’ve seen the gift embedded within these two words many times in my own life and I’ve personally witnessed my own crosses be turned into joys when I can relate and empathize with someone in a way that no one else can.  I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend.  The gift of living these roles presents ample opportunity to share, and I hope, ample opportunity to connect.

With that in mind, I move forward.  With excitement, and with hesitancy, I present to you, “Joy in the Journey”, a weekly blog that I pray will remind you of His love for you and perhaps provide a few moments of pause to be comforted and inspired through the heartfelt messages God sends my way.  And, as I never like to take myself too seriously, I hope you will laugh with me along this journey.

When God gives you a gift, it means you are simply a vessel through which He travels. And so, all excuses and insecurities aside, there is only one thing left to say,

“Here I am Lord.”

5 thoughts on “Here I am, Lord

  1. Nicole,
    I am thrilled that you have taken the plunge! I read so many blogs written by young Catholic moms like yourself and every time I do I keep thinking, “Nicole should be doing this.” Thanks so much for sharing your God given talent with the rest of us.

  2. What an Awesome tribute to Grammy– she is certainly smiling down at you and what wonderful memories it brings back to all who knew and loved her. Hopefully anyone who reads this will stop and think about their great memories of their Grammy and Nana. It’s going to be a wonderful blog and I can’t wait for the next one.

  3. Beautifully written Nicole! I look forward to reading more and will be praying for you throughout this new path along your “journey”.

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